IKEA but for Magical Fortresses

There’s this feature in Dragon magazine called Bazaar of the Bizarre. I randomly picked up one of my copies – #145 – and it seems J. Jasper Owens wrote the one I chose. This one is all about magical items you can put in your fortress; below, I’ve copied a bunch and added a little more to them.

Where ever JJO is, I hope they don’t mind.

Basin of Decent Temperament

(Basin of the angel)

These stone water fountains can be placed within the home of any kind-hearted person. There are not many in existence, not since the gods stopped whispering. Only when a cleric hears the true words of their god offering their blessing over the basin can it become holy.

Once blessed, the basin cannot be moved. It is held down by the weight of the god themselves. In many places around the world you may come across a time-destroyed city with an unyielding fountain amongst the rubble. Once rediscovered, it’s a keen idea to rebuild around it.

These basins are said to be “owned” by whoever controls the land, whether that be the few feet around it, or the miles that stretch out from it. So long as their heart stays pure, the conjured water will flow cleanly and without taint.

A good person who drinks the water will feel revived (as with the effect of Greater Restoration).

If the shrine is cared for by a holy person – the stone work cleaned, mould kept at bay, and sun light allowed to shine – the basin is said to be encouraged. Whilst encouraged in this way, all good people within 200 feet of it have the effect of Protection from Evil.

In times of need, the holy person who cares for the shrine can ask for aid of a deva.

Pool of Twisted Temperament

(Like Basin of Descent Temperament, but from a demon.)

In exchange for a favour a demon may well request this tainted water feature as part of the bargain. In a land owned by the bargain seeker, a crack in natural stone or flooring appears which endlessly seeps a fetid liquid. The only way to clear it away is to drink it – the demon will keep its word so long as the liquid never spills over.

The crack continues forever, even long after the death of the original sinner. Over the years it takes control and taints fertile lands. The land is difficult to re-consecrate and can take decades to cleanse.

An evil creature who drinks the liquid recovers much of their youthful looks and health.

If the pool is defended, the defender becomes empowered by the patron who provides them with a familiar (the effect of Find Familiar, cast once per day). The demon may lend a hand in defending the area too, summoning something wicked from the ooze.

Chains of the Gaoler Wizard

(Danleor’s dungeon chains)

Unheard of for centuries now, Danleor was one of the most power wizards in the realms. Eager to avoid confrontation with each other, he and the King came to an accord. Danleor was to show fealty by providing a service to his king, and the King would leave alone the entire plains area that Danleor lived in. The service, it was decided, was a prison for the most troublesome and threatening people and creatures.

Uninterested in being an active warden in his duties, Danleor created the most perfect chains ever made and imbued them with unbreakable magics. These ranged from enormous links of metals to secure giants to fine necklaces used for more delicate beings.

Danleor and the location of his prison has long vanished. However, every once in a while, one of his chains will appear in a marketplace for the elite.

Each chain has a single key, which cannot be replicated easily.

The chains are too heavy to be thrown and so are not useful as weapons.

Whilst locked in a chain, the creature automatically fails all Strength checks. Dexterity will not help escape these chains, and also automatically fail. Additionally, they’re covered in an antimagic field (akin to the spell).

Two-faced flag of many colours

(Flag of untrue colors)

This is a large rectangular flag, though it is happy to be folded into smaller shapes. In its dry state, the flag is merely grey. The kind of grey that once used to be white. Its edges are fraying with age and it seems to have been weathered quite considerably.

The flag is rejuvenated – at least it appears that way – when it feels the lick of wind and is slightly damp. In this state it will appear to be the flag of an ally or at least the flag of a neutral partner. The same magic spreads to other flags mounted to the same building (or within the same regiment), making them appear similarly.

The enchantment is smart enough to attempt to have its targets see the same flag, if possible.

The illusion can be seen through with a descent Wisdom save.

The last known location of this flag was in the possession of a flag collector. Unlike her other flags, she keeps this one bound and hidden away as losing it would break her heart more so than any of the others she has.

Teleportation Arches

(Libram of teleportation arches)

These arches come in pairs must be built at the same time, one in each of the positions to teleport between. They must be identically built – in design and process – for them to work. Once complete, a wizard may use the Teleportation Circle spell to permanently open a two-way gateway to the two places.

Teleportation through the two is without further cost. It is always perfect and holds no risks.

These do not work with other Teleportation Circles.

If either becomes damaged, both stop working and must be rebuilt and reenchanted.

Everlasting Smoulder

(Reimagined Oil of eternal fire)

Keeping a fortress, underground tunnel system, or manor house lit is a tiring job. Going around all of your lanterns each night takes many hours, and wizards (who can do the job far quicker) are still a daily cost. A better investment is Everlasting Smoulder.

These are coals from the Plane of Fire which, to date at least, never stop giving off their warm glow. They spread enough of a glow to completely light 30 feet of space with just one small coal ember. Of course, these coals are also incredibly hot and should not be handled by hand. Mage Hands work well for this purpose.

The Smoulders can be purchased for a dear some, but it’s almost a rite of passage for the owner of a new fortress to venture into the Plane of Fire themselves to collect it. A dangerous jaunt but well worth it.